About Domestic Violence
What is domestic violence?
Pattern of intentionally violent or controlling behavior used by a person against a family member or intimate partner to gain and maintain power and control over that person, during and/or after the relationship.
It can include physical abuse but does not have to. Types of “intentionally violent or controlling behavior” include sexual abuse, economic or financial abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, stalking and isolation.
Hallmarks of domestic violence include the 3 Ps: Planned, Purposeful, and Progressive.
Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse includes controlling your schedule, limiting phone use and/or monitor calls, persistently calling you at work to check up, calling you names, threatening family, friends, and pets, and destroying property.
Financial Abuse
Financial abuse is one of the main reasons people stay in abusive relationships. Financial abuse could include: giving you an allowance, not giving you access to a bank account, ruining your credit, and interfering with your ability to work.
No one deserves to be abused.
No one, except the abuser, is responsible for the abuse.
The abuser is making a choice to abuse someone. It isn’t “just the way that they are” or a relationship “gone bad”. Domestic violence is a repeated choice that the abuser is responsible for. When one person is afraid of the other, a dynamic of power and control enters the relationship.
Please view the classic Power & Control wheel (English | Spanish) – a tool to help people understand how an abuser gains and maintains power and control over someone.
An LGBTQ Power & Control wheel is available as well.
The “Equality” wheel views qualities of healthy relationships.